We’ve got you friends. We’re all about helping to close the pleasure gap, and oral sex can play a huge part. Did you know under 20% of vulva owners can orgasm through penetration alone?

So why not increase your odds? Oral sex provides lots of clitoral stimulation, and that is exactly what is needed for the majority of vulva owners to reach orgasm.

Read on for our top 7 tips…

Communication

We think excellent communication is so sexy.

Tell your partner to relax, and settle in. Make it known you are there for them and you want to bring them the pleasure they deserve.

It’s important to note that penis owners can get aroused in as little as two minutes, where this can take 20-30 minutes for the average vulva owner. So be patient, go slow, and let them know you are here to take things at their pace.

The Slow Build

Resist the urge to dive straight in.

Tease your partner slowly, to build anticipation. Avoid diving straight into the clitoris and instead use your fingers to touch them over their clothes or underwear. This helps blood flow to the area, building sensitivity and arousal (it’s also super hot). Start along the thighs, or their other favourite erogenous zones and move slowly to the genitals.

You could also playfully steal one of their toys and (starting on a low setting) gently let the toy vibrate over their inner thighs, labia and clitoris – bullet vibrators are perfect for this.

Keep the tease going

Start by inserting one finger… then two… and maybe more.

Listen to your partners body, their feedback, and signs they are having a great time: think moaning, heavy breathing, asking for more etc.

Take this opportunity to play with the g-spot. It’s located about 2 inches inside the vagina, on the front wall (Insert your finger and then bend it towards you with a come-hither motion). The area feels soft & squishy and will be located in a slightly different place on every vulva owner. It’s not an exact science, but pulsing against this area can feel great for many.

Listen to your partners body and go with the flow. Don’t be afraid to back off, tease some more and then go back in… why not try making them beg for it? If you’re both into that of course.

It’s go time

The moment you / they have been waiting for!

Whether they’re lying down or standing up, start by gently kissing their inner thighs, moving towards their labia. When things are getting heated and the sexual frustration threshold is reached slowly and softly lick their clitoris.

Work up to gentle sucking, tongue circles, adding your fingers back in… anything that makes them moan, utter a light expletive, say your name, or a combination of the three.

Remember as the giver it is important you are comfortable – feel free to switch positions, grab a pillow and remember to use your lips as well as your tongue to ease any fatigue.

The Kivin Method

For a twist on traditional oral, try this technique…

Instead of licking up & down in the traditional fashion, try moving your tongue side-to-side on the horizontal. This helps you to hit more nerve endings as well as lessening the chance that you will numb their clitoris out.

Try a few different licking techniques (circles, up-and-down, sucking) but if they tell you not to stop…they’re probably close to coming. Keep doing exactly what you’re doing, repetitive movements help facilitate orgasm.

Add a toy

We promise… it’s your secret weapon and not your competition.

Try alternating your tongue with some toy action, or using both at the same time. Bullet vibrators are perfect for this due to their small and compact size. Run the toy between their legs, around the vulva and even on their perineum (the nerve ending rich area of skin between the vaginal opening and the anus) while you go down on them. We promise they're going to love it.

Face sitting FTW

Face sitting oral allows you to lay on your back or kneel in front of your partner whilst they straddle your face. Don’t worry, it’s not a full-on sit… we want you to be able to breathe!

Try laying flat on your back with your head near the headboard / wall. The receiving partner will then kneel, straddling your face, and they can use the headboard / wall for support. Go to town from below, teasing your partner until they reach the big O. Your hands are free so remember to use them anyway you & your partner like: grab their hips, squeezing their nipples etc..

You’ve totally got this and we promise you, these 7 tips will help you reach legendary oral status (you’ll be the star of the group chat in no time!)

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photography: @julia.luzina via instagram