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Worried about your ability to perform in the bedroom? Erection challenges impacting your sex life? You’re not alone.

Read on as we unravel the complexities of performance anxiety, explore its various causes, and most importantly, discover ways to overcome these challenges and reclaim the joy of intimate connections.


So tell me… what is performance anxiety?

Traditionally the phrase ‘performance anxiety’ is associated with penis owners. This is driven from the societal pressures placed on penis owners to get and stay erect, particularly during partnered sex. There are many factors which can cause unpredictable erections, including: age, medication, hormone levels, blood flow & stress, among many other factors.

Life is stressful enough - build in any of these additional issues and it is enough to take you completely out of the moment, further distancing you from the sex life you desire.

So “what can I do for erection challenges” I hear you cry. Read on friends


What causes performance anxiety?

Firstly (and this goes for vulva owners too), it is important we feel safe and secure during partnered play. The anxiety of being with a new partner or the stress of daily work/life can cause unpredictable erections where you may not have experienced these before. If this happens to you, stop, breathe, try to relax and take things very slow – you don’t need to rush pleasure.

New medications can sometimes have unwanted side effects (particularly SSRIs & meds that affect your hormones) so it is important to be mindful of this. We know it can be hard but try not to put further pressure on yourself as this might make the issue worse. If you are feeling worried, talk to your partner in advance of any steamy sessions (ideally outside the bedroom), and remember they are there for you – a great partner will be understanding and ready to work with you to ensure you both have the best time, no matter how things go down.

Be sure to check-in with your GP for advice if you are concerned your issues may be triggered by more serious factors.


Worried things are going south?

Here’s our top tip: Why not try turning the attention on your partner to ease yourself back into the zone – offer them a massage & tell them you are here for them. Why not focus on giving them the best oral they’ve ever had? Check out our blog: “how to give the best oral sex to a vulva” (if your partner does in fact have a vulva). You’ll be out of your head & ready again before you know it!


What else can I try to help unpredictable erections?

We love a cock ring here at pleasure gap. Not only do they feel great, they help to keep blood trapped inside the penis, which gives a firmer feeling and can also help you to stay erect.

Penis rings help to heighten sensations for the wearer and feel great for partnered intercourse by stimulating either the clitoris or the sphincter muscles. Dreamy right? Mutual satisfaction for the win. You can shop our range of cock rings here.


Communication, Communication, Communication

Finally, it is important to remember that communication is always key. Any performance anxiety you are experiencing will directly decrease with support from your partner. Remember you don’t need to put on a show for anyone. Take things slow and work together to ensure you’re both having the best time.

Remember, our sex lives are constantly evolving, and there will always be good & bad patches. Be kind to yourself, and with a few tricks up your sleeve, you will increase your confidence, decrease your performance anxiety and be living your best sex life (as will your partner!)


Looking for more advice? Feel free to get in touch with our team – we’re here for you.

Photo Credit: @bittobryanna via Pinterest


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